Searching for Significance

I've been having significance issues lately and I've been doing all kinds of things to try to fix the problem. I've been praying for direction and clarity, I've been trying to get more involved at church, I've been thinking through career paths, I've been looking at grad schools and then prayed some more and all I got was a bunch of road blocks and one answer from God, "Spend more time with me." This was NOT the answer I had in mind. So I completely ignored God and kept striving on my own (*side note: As I look back over all the wonderful things in my life, I have never had to strive for any of them, so what made me think I would need to start now?). And again, all I got was more road blocks and one answer from God, "Spend more time with me." This whole "ignoring God" thing went on for a while and the frustration mounted. I have even lost sleep over this. I kind of thought God's answer was beside the point, but in my heart I knew that it WAS the point. So recently I have given in to God and started spending more time with him and all the sudden I have more direction and peace than I've had for months! Then I came across John 12:43,

For they loved praise from men more than praise from God.

And it hit me that my striving was due to my perceived need for praise from people. Erwin McManus in "Wide Awake" says it like this:

God glorifies himself and finds the greatest honor from our lives when we are willing to fail in the eyes of others simply by doing what is right even if it means losing our perceived value in the world. Faith is not measured by success . . . would you choose success in the eyes of others or failure that brings your life its greatest meaning? Sometimes we hesitate to choose the more difficult path even when we know it leads us to the life we were born to live.

I was searching for significance in all the wrong places. In short, significance and success defined by our culture is vain and empty. It will neither satisfy nor give us the peace that we are all looking for. But Christ will. It is such a huge relief to not be under the pressure of the world. This song by Tenth Avenue North says it well and brings me to tears when I hear it.